Wednesday, April 29, 2009

She's bAAAAAAAAAAAck

Wow, what a slacker I've been! We were without internet for an entire week!! Believe it or not my head did not explode with wonderful blogs to write in the meantime. I actually am struggling with coming up with topics. Tonight, as I was driving home from my Zumba class, I started thinking about my legs that I should have shaved before going..... this spiraled into a full blown flashback of childhood memories. Here's how.....

As I thought of leg shaving I remembered the time I felt mortified when I realized that I was the only girl at 5th grade softball practice who had not began to shave and the hair on my legs seemed to glow oh-so-bright in the summer sun that day. After begging Mom to let me start shaving and listening to her saying, "Once you start, you'll have to do it the rest of your life!" I did it. And hated the time it took, how itchy it made me, and the fact that I cut myself nearly every time. This thought slid right into the next, which escalated to many childhood memories:

*I used to take Dad's shaving cream, sit on the counter and pretend to shave my legs and face with an old toothbrush. Mom got mad at me for wasting the shaving cream.
* Going to Grandma York's house on Sundays. We built card houses, put on plays, "styled" our dad's hair, and Grandma fixed us ice cream cones from Neapolitan ice cream. I would lay on the floor next to my older cousins who were doing homework and wish that I had homework too.
* I remember Beth spending lots of time talking to boyfriends on the phone in her bedroom. I would lay on the floor and try to listen through the crack under the door. There seemed to be more yelling going on than talking ;)
* I used to share a bunk bed with Sharon and I was so sad when she left for the other bedroom.
* Being alone in the bunk was not an option for me so I begged Mom to stay with me every night. We had a prayer that was quite lengthy that we said together every night and I still say the same one with a few modifications. She would try to sneak out and I would follow and end up on cushions next to her bed with her arm hanging down to hold my hand which would stick up in the air. My poor parents.... and I used to complain that I had no siblings my age.
* Those same cushions became the roof to my play houses with Cody and Andrea Francis. We would go in the basement, pull the couch away from the wall, and prop the cushions as a roof or make them into rooms.

* The cushions also became our surfboards down the steps, our safety net when we would test our skills and nerve by jumping off the steps as high as we'd dare. They also would be tossed around the basement and all the lights would be off as we played tag by jumping from one to the next.... in the dark.... not able to see.....jumping......in the dark...... needless to say, there were many collisions.
* Daring Cody to eat dog food and of course, trying it myself.
* Seeing our baby kittens being born and never waiting to touch them until their eyes were open. I'm sure I caused many a kitten to get goopy eyes. One calico kitten was named Booger because it had a little spot on it's nose.
* Being soooo mad when Dad decided to turn our horse stalls into a stage for Renegade to practice on.... darn Jon. Turns out that was a pretty good investment. I remember running around in circles in the barn as the band played Run Around Sue. I thought that meant she ..... ran around.
* Wanting that doll that would crawl soooo bad and Dad surprising me with one that cried or giggled instead. What a great Dad! But, being the ungrateful brat I was, I cried.
* Wanting a Cabbage Patch doll but never getting one because Mom thought they were ugly. I drew on my cousin Becky's because I was jealous that she had one.
* Wanting a scooter and GETTING IT!! That was the best birthday ever. They sent me to the Francis's and I was trying to peek over their fence to see what was going on at my place while Dad set it up.
* Screaming and crying whenever I was left at a babysitter's house. I was that kid. Playing at Carl and Betty's (now my house) and watching Punky Brewster, Reading Rainbow, and begging to play with their Lite Brite but never being allowed because it was messy.
* Making dirt soup out of anything I could find in the yard and trying to feed it to the dog.
* Instead of getting Barbie's babies, my Barbie had little Chinese babies that had been pulled off a pin cushion. Their pets were a variety of McDonalds toys.
* Picking cherries off the tree, hating them because they were sooooo sour, but not being able to stop eating them because it was just so fun spitting out the pits!
* HATING shower time because our only shower at the time was in the basement and you had to check for spiders before you could get in and you had to hold yourself just right or else that first blast of cold water would knock you on your butt.
* A spider falling on my foot while I was showering... TRAUMATIZING!! I ran outta there butt naked and cried for a good 10 minutes before getting back in, shaking in fear, and finishing my shower while whimpering.
* Sliding under my dad's legs at weddings and getting jealous when he took time away from me to let my cousins try.
* Making a hammock on the monkey bars with a sheet by tying the corners in knots on the bars. I would lay in there and read books. By the time I had to take it down, the knots were so tight that we had to cut the sheet off.
* Riding the kindergarten bus with Connie who would drive with curlers in her hair while chewing on the pink stick that holds them in. She was scary.

* Throwing up every morning before school. It was quite a routine. I also could never stay over at a friend's house without throwing up in the middle of the night, calling mom and dad to pick me up, and crying because I thought I was never going to be able to get married because I couldn't sleep away from home! The sleep over issue lasted until junior high. No Joke.
*Spending hours making friendship bracelets with Julie and Kasey and then trying to sell them to my neighbors for 10cents.
* Hiding in my closet and eating most of the candybars that I was supposed to be selling for 4H
* Loving spending time with my older siblings although they weren't around very long : ( I used to be so jealous that my friends had younger brothers and sisters.

There are sooo many that I could go on and on with but I think this is enough for tonight. It's my first time back in awhile so I better take it easy on ya.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Our New Puppy!!!!

I know it might be a little crazy to get two puppies within a year but we couldn't resist! Isn't that just the sweetest little fur ball you've ever seen?!



Haha! GOTCHA! That isn't a fur ball - that's a ball of fur! I gave Gibby her first major haircut today and let me tell ya, she was a trouper. I loved her super fluffy hair but it was definitely past due. Check out my black pants afterwards......



And here she is..... the new and slightly less fuzzy ..... GIBSON ROSE HOYING



I miss her fluff but she's still the same goofy pup. I think I found my new calling... dog groomer

Monday, April 13, 2009

Revelations

If I could sum up Easter in a few words it would be.... eat til ya pop. (Then do it again) I think that I probably



The day has finally come. I have officially decided to make some serious changes that I hope you will hold me accountable for. 1) The house looks so good clean that I am going to try to keep it that way... who'da thunk? 2) I am going to do the things needed to move my mary kay business to the next level. I'm thinking free car!! 3) I am going to start exersizing regularly. Going for a walk would probably make me sore for days at this point! Pretty sad.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Hooooly Saturday!

Whatta party!! Nothing like celebrating Jesus's resurrection with bottle after bottle of wine, inappropriate conversation, and waaaay too much food! We had Jace's mom's side's Easter party tonight. Fried chicken in a styrofoam box makes any get together a party but wine and Eilerman women make it a PAAAARTAY! I always knew they were a fun group but never knew their hidden bad girl tendencies - tattoos, piercings in hidden places, and excessive drinking :) All false, but funny! We did end up going through about 5 bottles of wine (or should I say, Bloomer Remover) between us. I honestly can't recall the majority of what we talked about, not because I was drunk. I do know it never ceased to be entertaining. Did that wine really taste like stinky feet? No, I think it tasted more like salami and cheese. Either way.... BLECK! Good thing Shelly was there to "take one for the team" and chug the remnants.
I probably had the longest conversation with my new sister-in-law that I have in all 7 years of knowing her. It was great and I hope we can be close (although I don't know if I will never be able to discuss certain bedroom topics which include her little brother) We are already setting up times to get crazy together and hopefully getting Carol tipsy along with us! Yes, mom-in-law, I know you're reading..... sounds like fun, huh?!
Our niece, Carissa, was a constant entertainment as well. 3 years old and wise beyond her years. The best is her new fascination with asking...."You got boobs?" HAHAHA!
I doooo love my family-in-laws!

You've got to be joking!!

Okay... so here's the story. Last night Jace and I met up with some highschool friends. One of my soon to be married friends and her fiance bought a home and had us to the unveiling. In case she reads.... It's very cute. They did wonders with walls once flowery wallpapered, floor to ceiling. For awhile girls and guys were mingling but it sooned turned into guys' drinking game at the table- girls' gabbing and drinking game at the counter. Jace, a couple other girls, and I used water like the good lenten observers we are. You know, the whole, nothing but water in between meals on Good Friday thing? That's rough! Anyways....it was so much fun! The game that we played allowed for multiple opportunities to laugh until our bellies hurt. (mostly at the girls who were really drinking and getting pretty funny) I honestly probably had 4 cups of water throughout the game. One of the best moments was watching Kasey trying to blow her hair out of her face and getting seriously frustrated during my "You can't touch your hair" rule. Try not touching you hair for a given time. It's harder than you'd think! Well, midnight hit and I had a beer. One beer, O.N.E. It was enough to wash down the handfull of Doritos I shoved in like I hadn't eaten in days, rather than hours. My question is.... How am I hungover?! Honestly, 1 beer gave my some serious reprecussions this morning. I know it has something to do with the fact that I haven't had anything to drink in a looong time, but still. Crazy.

We came home around 2 am and Jace put together our new monsterous coffeetable. We watched a movie until about 4 am and then decided it was time to go to bed. I fell asleep very quickly and apparently Jace had more trouble with it. Knowing that I had some gals coming over for a Mary Kay party this morning, he got back out of bed and cleaned. Yes, CLEANED! I woke up to a clean kitchen, living room, and bathroom! He did not go to bed until 7 this morning! His goofy work schedule seriously screws with his sleeping. At least now I know how to get my house clean...... I am going to stock up on some of that 5Hour Energy stuff to slip into his midnight bowl of Lucky Charms! If you have yet to see the house, now's the time because it won't stay like this for long!! Gimme a call!

Friday, April 10, 2009

My zero complaint update

I did really great all day until I was stuck in a car with Jace....and he farted. Does gagging count as a complaint??? God, I appreciate that you made Jace for me. I'm sorry, but I can not be thankful for his stinky butt. : )

Sloth.... one of the seven deadly sins


Jace has been recording a series on the History Channel about the 7 Deadly Sins and I have been watching them as they record. Last nights was about the sin of sloth. Did I mention that Jace and I are pretty lazy? This show scared the *bleep* out of me!!

*Speaking of being scared- Jace told me last night not to expect him home until after 7 this morning because he had a meeting after work. (He normally walks in the door at 6:30-clockwork) At 6:25 Gibby woke me up with the usual paws up on the bed and nose in my face which means "I gotta pee!" I took her out and brought her back to our bedroom where she usually lays back down until her Papa comes home. Well, this morning, Papa didn't come home at 6:30.....Gibby was distraught. She's got an amazing internal clock! She stared and whined at the bedroom door for 20 minutes before I was so annoyed that I got out of bed and started to drag her to the laundry room to be locked up so I could sleep. At this time it was about 10 til 7 and I didn't expect Jace for another half hour. Walking with my head down and eyes still half shut, I made it to the kitchen at the same time as an unexpected Jace. I screamed something like "OH MY GOSH!" while grabbing my heart and urging it to calm back down to it's normal pattern. Jace just laughed while I staggered back to the bedroom praying that this sudden shock wouldn't keep me from falling back asleep..................................It didn't : ) God is good!

Back to our scary sloth.... some think it's a disease and some a demonic possession. WHAT?! Two things that I don't enjoy considering in my own life. The slothful sinners are said to go to hell to be condemned to float around in a grubby looking bog. Stuck there forever. I can't imagine that putting off laundry could have that kind of impact on my chances to get into Heaven. By the way, I got that laundry put away last night!! I am a PRO crastinator; always have been. I think I work best under pressure. If I wasn't so good at procrastination, I am pretty sure you'd be seeing me driving around a pink Cadillac by now. I go to bed with good intentions for the following day and somehow the day is over and I wonder where my time went. It makes no sense. Getting things done feels so good!! Why wouldn't I want that feeling all the time?!

Here's my list of things to accomplish today. Hold me to them.
-Wake up by 10 (It's my spring break!)
-Breakfast, walk Gibby, shower
-Clean floors
-Organize spare bedroom/BoFlex room
-Lunch Break
-Go to Dayton to pick up our new coffee table (Never thought I'd want one, but I do)
-Dinner with the hubby
-Jace will assemble coffee table while I get ready to go out
-Jace will start to get ready to go out and finish before me even though I had a head start
-Over to my friend Melissa's new house!!

I know I'll at least get my eating in! Hopefully I can stick to the rest : ) I should have given up t.v. and Facebook for Lent. That would have been a productive 40 days!!