Wednesday, April 29, 2009

She's bAAAAAAAAAAAck

Wow, what a slacker I've been! We were without internet for an entire week!! Believe it or not my head did not explode with wonderful blogs to write in the meantime. I actually am struggling with coming up with topics. Tonight, as I was driving home from my Zumba class, I started thinking about my legs that I should have shaved before going..... this spiraled into a full blown flashback of childhood memories. Here's how.....

As I thought of leg shaving I remembered the time I felt mortified when I realized that I was the only girl at 5th grade softball practice who had not began to shave and the hair on my legs seemed to glow oh-so-bright in the summer sun that day. After begging Mom to let me start shaving and listening to her saying, "Once you start, you'll have to do it the rest of your life!" I did it. And hated the time it took, how itchy it made me, and the fact that I cut myself nearly every time. This thought slid right into the next, which escalated to many childhood memories:

*I used to take Dad's shaving cream, sit on the counter and pretend to shave my legs and face with an old toothbrush. Mom got mad at me for wasting the shaving cream.
* Going to Grandma York's house on Sundays. We built card houses, put on plays, "styled" our dad's hair, and Grandma fixed us ice cream cones from Neapolitan ice cream. I would lay on the floor next to my older cousins who were doing homework and wish that I had homework too.
* I remember Beth spending lots of time talking to boyfriends on the phone in her bedroom. I would lay on the floor and try to listen through the crack under the door. There seemed to be more yelling going on than talking ;)
* I used to share a bunk bed with Sharon and I was so sad when she left for the other bedroom.
* Being alone in the bunk was not an option for me so I begged Mom to stay with me every night. We had a prayer that was quite lengthy that we said together every night and I still say the same one with a few modifications. She would try to sneak out and I would follow and end up on cushions next to her bed with her arm hanging down to hold my hand which would stick up in the air. My poor parents.... and I used to complain that I had no siblings my age.
* Those same cushions became the roof to my play houses with Cody and Andrea Francis. We would go in the basement, pull the couch away from the wall, and prop the cushions as a roof or make them into rooms.

* The cushions also became our surfboards down the steps, our safety net when we would test our skills and nerve by jumping off the steps as high as we'd dare. They also would be tossed around the basement and all the lights would be off as we played tag by jumping from one to the next.... in the dark.... not able to see.....jumping......in the dark...... needless to say, there were many collisions.
* Daring Cody to eat dog food and of course, trying it myself.
* Seeing our baby kittens being born and never waiting to touch them until their eyes were open. I'm sure I caused many a kitten to get goopy eyes. One calico kitten was named Booger because it had a little spot on it's nose.
* Being soooo mad when Dad decided to turn our horse stalls into a stage for Renegade to practice on.... darn Jon. Turns out that was a pretty good investment. I remember running around in circles in the barn as the band played Run Around Sue. I thought that meant she ..... ran around.
* Wanting that doll that would crawl soooo bad and Dad surprising me with one that cried or giggled instead. What a great Dad! But, being the ungrateful brat I was, I cried.
* Wanting a Cabbage Patch doll but never getting one because Mom thought they were ugly. I drew on my cousin Becky's because I was jealous that she had one.
* Wanting a scooter and GETTING IT!! That was the best birthday ever. They sent me to the Francis's and I was trying to peek over their fence to see what was going on at my place while Dad set it up.
* Screaming and crying whenever I was left at a babysitter's house. I was that kid. Playing at Carl and Betty's (now my house) and watching Punky Brewster, Reading Rainbow, and begging to play with their Lite Brite but never being allowed because it was messy.
* Making dirt soup out of anything I could find in the yard and trying to feed it to the dog.
* Instead of getting Barbie's babies, my Barbie had little Chinese babies that had been pulled off a pin cushion. Their pets were a variety of McDonalds toys.
* Picking cherries off the tree, hating them because they were sooooo sour, but not being able to stop eating them because it was just so fun spitting out the pits!
* HATING shower time because our only shower at the time was in the basement and you had to check for spiders before you could get in and you had to hold yourself just right or else that first blast of cold water would knock you on your butt.
* A spider falling on my foot while I was showering... TRAUMATIZING!! I ran outta there butt naked and cried for a good 10 minutes before getting back in, shaking in fear, and finishing my shower while whimpering.
* Sliding under my dad's legs at weddings and getting jealous when he took time away from me to let my cousins try.
* Making a hammock on the monkey bars with a sheet by tying the corners in knots on the bars. I would lay in there and read books. By the time I had to take it down, the knots were so tight that we had to cut the sheet off.
* Riding the kindergarten bus with Connie who would drive with curlers in her hair while chewing on the pink stick that holds them in. She was scary.

* Throwing up every morning before school. It was quite a routine. I also could never stay over at a friend's house without throwing up in the middle of the night, calling mom and dad to pick me up, and crying because I thought I was never going to be able to get married because I couldn't sleep away from home! The sleep over issue lasted until junior high. No Joke.
*Spending hours making friendship bracelets with Julie and Kasey and then trying to sell them to my neighbors for 10cents.
* Hiding in my closet and eating most of the candybars that I was supposed to be selling for 4H
* Loving spending time with my older siblings although they weren't around very long : ( I used to be so jealous that my friends had younger brothers and sisters.

There are sooo many that I could go on and on with but I think this is enough for tonight. It's my first time back in awhile so I better take it easy on ya.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Our New Puppy!!!!

I know it might be a little crazy to get two puppies within a year but we couldn't resist! Isn't that just the sweetest little fur ball you've ever seen?!



Haha! GOTCHA! That isn't a fur ball - that's a ball of fur! I gave Gibby her first major haircut today and let me tell ya, she was a trouper. I loved her super fluffy hair but it was definitely past due. Check out my black pants afterwards......



And here she is..... the new and slightly less fuzzy ..... GIBSON ROSE HOYING



I miss her fluff but she's still the same goofy pup. I think I found my new calling... dog groomer

Monday, April 13, 2009

Revelations

If I could sum up Easter in a few words it would be.... eat til ya pop. (Then do it again) I think that I probably



The day has finally come. I have officially decided to make some serious changes that I hope you will hold me accountable for. 1) The house looks so good clean that I am going to try to keep it that way... who'da thunk? 2) I am going to do the things needed to move my mary kay business to the next level. I'm thinking free car!! 3) I am going to start exersizing regularly. Going for a walk would probably make me sore for days at this point! Pretty sad.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Hooooly Saturday!

Whatta party!! Nothing like celebrating Jesus's resurrection with bottle after bottle of wine, inappropriate conversation, and waaaay too much food! We had Jace's mom's side's Easter party tonight. Fried chicken in a styrofoam box makes any get together a party but wine and Eilerman women make it a PAAAARTAY! I always knew they were a fun group but never knew their hidden bad girl tendencies - tattoos, piercings in hidden places, and excessive drinking :) All false, but funny! We did end up going through about 5 bottles of wine (or should I say, Bloomer Remover) between us. I honestly can't recall the majority of what we talked about, not because I was drunk. I do know it never ceased to be entertaining. Did that wine really taste like stinky feet? No, I think it tasted more like salami and cheese. Either way.... BLECK! Good thing Shelly was there to "take one for the team" and chug the remnants.
I probably had the longest conversation with my new sister-in-law that I have in all 7 years of knowing her. It was great and I hope we can be close (although I don't know if I will never be able to discuss certain bedroom topics which include her little brother) We are already setting up times to get crazy together and hopefully getting Carol tipsy along with us! Yes, mom-in-law, I know you're reading..... sounds like fun, huh?!
Our niece, Carissa, was a constant entertainment as well. 3 years old and wise beyond her years. The best is her new fascination with asking...."You got boobs?" HAHAHA!
I doooo love my family-in-laws!

You've got to be joking!!

Okay... so here's the story. Last night Jace and I met up with some highschool friends. One of my soon to be married friends and her fiance bought a home and had us to the unveiling. In case she reads.... It's very cute. They did wonders with walls once flowery wallpapered, floor to ceiling. For awhile girls and guys were mingling but it sooned turned into guys' drinking game at the table- girls' gabbing and drinking game at the counter. Jace, a couple other girls, and I used water like the good lenten observers we are. You know, the whole, nothing but water in between meals on Good Friday thing? That's rough! Anyways....it was so much fun! The game that we played allowed for multiple opportunities to laugh until our bellies hurt. (mostly at the girls who were really drinking and getting pretty funny) I honestly probably had 4 cups of water throughout the game. One of the best moments was watching Kasey trying to blow her hair out of her face and getting seriously frustrated during my "You can't touch your hair" rule. Try not touching you hair for a given time. It's harder than you'd think! Well, midnight hit and I had a beer. One beer, O.N.E. It was enough to wash down the handfull of Doritos I shoved in like I hadn't eaten in days, rather than hours. My question is.... How am I hungover?! Honestly, 1 beer gave my some serious reprecussions this morning. I know it has something to do with the fact that I haven't had anything to drink in a looong time, but still. Crazy.

We came home around 2 am and Jace put together our new monsterous coffeetable. We watched a movie until about 4 am and then decided it was time to go to bed. I fell asleep very quickly and apparently Jace had more trouble with it. Knowing that I had some gals coming over for a Mary Kay party this morning, he got back out of bed and cleaned. Yes, CLEANED! I woke up to a clean kitchen, living room, and bathroom! He did not go to bed until 7 this morning! His goofy work schedule seriously screws with his sleeping. At least now I know how to get my house clean...... I am going to stock up on some of that 5Hour Energy stuff to slip into his midnight bowl of Lucky Charms! If you have yet to see the house, now's the time because it won't stay like this for long!! Gimme a call!

Friday, April 10, 2009

My zero complaint update

I did really great all day until I was stuck in a car with Jace....and he farted. Does gagging count as a complaint??? God, I appreciate that you made Jace for me. I'm sorry, but I can not be thankful for his stinky butt. : )

Sloth.... one of the seven deadly sins


Jace has been recording a series on the History Channel about the 7 Deadly Sins and I have been watching them as they record. Last nights was about the sin of sloth. Did I mention that Jace and I are pretty lazy? This show scared the *bleep* out of me!!

*Speaking of being scared- Jace told me last night not to expect him home until after 7 this morning because he had a meeting after work. (He normally walks in the door at 6:30-clockwork) At 6:25 Gibby woke me up with the usual paws up on the bed and nose in my face which means "I gotta pee!" I took her out and brought her back to our bedroom where she usually lays back down until her Papa comes home. Well, this morning, Papa didn't come home at 6:30.....Gibby was distraught. She's got an amazing internal clock! She stared and whined at the bedroom door for 20 minutes before I was so annoyed that I got out of bed and started to drag her to the laundry room to be locked up so I could sleep. At this time it was about 10 til 7 and I didn't expect Jace for another half hour. Walking with my head down and eyes still half shut, I made it to the kitchen at the same time as an unexpected Jace. I screamed something like "OH MY GOSH!" while grabbing my heart and urging it to calm back down to it's normal pattern. Jace just laughed while I staggered back to the bedroom praying that this sudden shock wouldn't keep me from falling back asleep..................................It didn't : ) God is good!

Back to our scary sloth.... some think it's a disease and some a demonic possession. WHAT?! Two things that I don't enjoy considering in my own life. The slothful sinners are said to go to hell to be condemned to float around in a grubby looking bog. Stuck there forever. I can't imagine that putting off laundry could have that kind of impact on my chances to get into Heaven. By the way, I got that laundry put away last night!! I am a PRO crastinator; always have been. I think I work best under pressure. If I wasn't so good at procrastination, I am pretty sure you'd be seeing me driving around a pink Cadillac by now. I go to bed with good intentions for the following day and somehow the day is over and I wonder where my time went. It makes no sense. Getting things done feels so good!! Why wouldn't I want that feeling all the time?!

Here's my list of things to accomplish today. Hold me to them.
-Wake up by 10 (It's my spring break!)
-Breakfast, walk Gibby, shower
-Clean floors
-Organize spare bedroom/BoFlex room
-Lunch Break
-Go to Dayton to pick up our new coffee table (Never thought I'd want one, but I do)
-Dinner with the hubby
-Jace will assemble coffee table while I get ready to go out
-Jace will start to get ready to go out and finish before me even though I had a head start
-Over to my friend Melissa's new house!!

I know I'll at least get my eating in! Hopefully I can stick to the rest : ) I should have given up t.v. and Facebook for Lent. That would have been a productive 40 days!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

My day of ZERO complaints

I am going to start today's blog with something that I heard at my Mary Kay career conference.

"When you complain, it is insulting to God and his provisions for you." Wow... tough stuff.

I have decided to make a list of my reoccurring complaints.






At least we're not chocolate bunnies!!








- My house is too small!!
The real problem is.... my junk is too plentiful! I am in a home with 3 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms, living room, kitchen, dining room, and laundry room. How is that too small for 2 people and a pooch?? Sure I don't have a dishwasher, basement to stash my Christmas tree in, or an attached 2 car garage to save me from freezing while scraping away at my windows in the morning, but are those really worth complaining about?? God provided us with a home that we pay next to nothing for, a landlord (my pop) who doesn't complain when the rent comes on the 20th of the month instead of the 1st, and a great big yard for Gibby to roam (and poop) on. If you have seen our home, you know that we have definitely made it out own. The once entirely wood paneled home now has painted walls, some of our furniture is hand-me-down but perfect (thanks to mom and dad-in-law), and the decorations are cute if I do say so myself! We have heat in the winter and central air in the summer. It's a great house and instead of complaining or thinking about looking elsewhere, I'm now thanking God for such a perfect first home. How many people are on the streets without a home or are constantly being evicted because they can not make the rent?!

- I don't have a job next fall!!
I enjoy the job that I have been given for the next two months. I am sad that the position will no longer be available for next school year. Teaching jobs are nearly impossible to find and the few openings have hundreds of applicants. Can I complain when I knew the low employment numbers for Early Childhood Education when I picked my major?? No, I don't think I can. I was stubborn. That is what I want to do!! And now I have to wait until I get my opportunity. Can do. I will find something else this summer and if something doesn't appear, I will go back to subbing. I stayed fairly busy and although it isn't steady and the pay isn't great, I enjoy it most days. There are so many people being laid off and my husband is not one of them. Again, thanking God. My Mary Kay business came into my life almost a year ago and although I haven't been exhausting my opportunities fully, I am doing well and know that I can step it up, do more parties, and bring in more money while helping women feel beautiful!! I don't have to fear that I will be disposed of.... that will never happen. While other companies are laying off, Mary Kay is offering promotions and even a free starter kit this month! They aren't firing, they're hiring!!

-There's nothing to eat in this house!!
Get off your rear and go grocery shopping! Easy solution. I have money, I can afford to eat, I am not living off bread and water. Although, if it was yummy bread I bet I could!

-My house is a mess!
Again, the rear thing.

-I hate putting away laundry!!
Don't buy so much dang clothes!! I don't like that solution. You know that pile I wrote about a couple of days ago??? Still there, still begging.



-My butt's too big!!
Haha! Again, gotta get off the rear to make it any smaller! The sun was out today and I took advantage and took Gibbs out for a walk. That's a start. Too bad I then stopped at the Dairy King in Loramie and had a Storm 66- Brownie with chocolate ice cream..... YUM!!!

Tomorrow I am going to go the whole day without complaining! I'll let you know how it goes. Either I will feel great and ready to make it a habit for life or.............. my head will explode. Fingers crossed for number 1!!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Gibson: human in dog's clothing


If you've ever had a dog that you spend a significant amount of time with, you know what I mean when I say they have human personalities. Gibby, barely 1/2 a year old, is a BONEafied (hehe) schizophrenic.

Her first personality is one of a sweet child that wants nothing more than to please her parents. This personality is rarely seen by anyone but Jace and me because she gets so darn excited when anyone else is around. It is my favorite and can be very comforting when the day has not gone well. She licked the tears out of my eyes the other day although this is most likely because tears are salty rather than because she didn't want to see me sad.

Next is the child stuck in the terrible twos. She zooms around the house leaving traces of toilet paper in her wake. She will jump on anything that moves and lick the nose right off your face. This is the Gibby you will most likely see if you stop in. This is also the Gibby that scares the crap out of Jackson and caused him to sit on the bathroom counter for an hour, sobbing while Gibbs was no where near. The mere thought of her charging forward, ready to pounce is enough to send him heading for the hills.

Every once in awhile we swear we can see her eyes glare red and her evil personality appears. This only happens when she's baring her teeth and barking her fool head off. The only times we see this Gibby is when we tease her to her breaking point and then laugh as she growls and tries to get a good shot at our jugular. The funny thing about this one is that her tail wags throughout so we know she's playing with us too. She really isn't evil.

Another one of her personalities is one of a homeless 40 year old man who hasn't eaten for days. This one is sneaky and ready to swipe anything that even resembles food. The sound of the refrigerator will send her running from anywhere in the house and she will sit next to me throughout meal preparation in hopes of a dropped crumb. The first time we found Gibby to be a thief was the day that Jace set his plate of BUFFALO chicken tenders on the couch "out of her reach" and went to the restroom only to come back to an empty plate and a dog desperate for a drink. The next time was literally astonishing. I spent a good amount of time slaving over the stove to make one amazing omelet. 3 eggs, pieces of bacon, onion, cheese, and other tasty additions were done and ready for my enjoyment. I transferred my omelet from the skillet to my plate and took one glorious bite before leaving it on the counter top, again "out of reach", and headed to the other room for a tissue. Coming back into the kitchen, something seemed different....what was it? Then I saw her. Sitting, head bowed, lips being licked, eyes wide with the sudden realization that her action may have a consequence. Sure enough.. my plate was empty although still in the same position I left it. "What did you do?!" Was all I said, slightly amused yet seriously disappointed about not having my meal. She stood up, hung her head, put her tail between her legs and slooooowly walked into the other room to think about what she did. Since that time I have caught her, paws on the counter, sniffing for crumbs or dirty plates to lick. After putting together a lasagna and waiting for the oven to get hot enough to bake it I caught her stretching her tongue to a ridiculous length to lap up the sauce from the top layer! We still ate it.... baking heat kills germs, right? The latest happened today. Jace grabbed his Pop Tart, sat on the couch next to the arm rest, and flipped on the t.v. Gibby crept beside the couch, slowly raised her furry head, and began to lick the Pop Tart in his hand without his knowledge. He quickly realized what was going on when she began nibbling on it. We both were laughing so hard at her that she took full advantage, swiping the last bit and heading to a secluded spot to finish.

We love her in all of her states and can't wait to meet the rest of her hidden personalities as she ages. ( I was going to say "as she grows" but we are hoping that's done with!)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A little more about Year 1


So here we are, nearly 10 months into our marriage and what's changed?? We're still laughing, teasing, bickering, lazy and loving. I can honestly say that it feels NO different to be married to Jace as it did to be in a plain ol' relationship with him. After 7 yrs together, what is there left to know? We've changed over the years, that's inevitable, but we are still the same goofy 16 year olds deep down. Sure Jace has a lot more hair in a lot more places and I no longer have a mound of blonde hair and mismatched black eye brows, but what two people can entertain themselves with belches, knock-down wrestling matches, and hours sitting on the couch with separate lap tops going while watching an episode of Seinfeld seen 65 times by him and never by her? (I think the show is muy stupido, but just hearing him laugh at it is entertainment enough)

Our arguments consist of.... I can't believe you did NOTHING today!!!, you slept how long???, and YOU get up and take Gibby outside, I did it last time!!! We are incredibly lazy, you see. We are currently watching the video from our wedding and I keep sneaking peeks at Jace. I caught a tear in his eye and instead of making up an excuse, he simply said, "I miss it". Honestly, how cute is that?! Quit gagging. : )

Within this year we have settled into our little house, continued to let it get messy, and then power clean for 15 minutes at a time (remember the laziness). We also bought Gibby, our source of joy and pain (in the ass region). Jace has gone from working 2-10 too many days a week to working 6pm-6am just 4 days a week. We see each other much more often now! I have gone from being a lowly substitute to teaching my preschoolers and couldn't ask for a better job! Too bad it isn't going to last : (

My New Year's resolution was to cook dinner every night and that lasted a good week and a half. Come to find out, that costs a lot more that chicken nuggets and frozen pizza. Before living with Jace I never let myself buy junk food. That was the easiest way to keep from eating it! Now, someone else brings home the junk and it's only natural for me to eat half a bag of Doritos in a sitting right?? Brownies, sure, I'll make some brownies. Gain 10 lbs in 10 months? Sure! Why not? I didn't like buttoning my pants any way! Of course Jace is as skinny as ever.... He doesn't know it but I'm giving him the evil eye as I think of his lazy man's metabolism. Gibby's up to a whopping 35 lbs and we are hoping that's the extent of her growth.



It is now an hour later than it was at the start of this post and I have successfully put off my wifely duties. Time to tackle the pile of clean laundry which is begging to be put away and the Mary Kay phone calls I promised myself to make this afternoon. Hurray for spring breaks and blissful days of nothingness. As I now like to say.... April showers bring afternoon naps!! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Monday, April 6, 2009

Step 1: Thought Vomit

Gross title, I know. I had no idea how to begin so I decided that the best way to get organized was to lay out the millions of thoughts running through my head. Gotta get the nitty gritty out of the way!

-I've heard the first year of marriage is the hardest. This has been cake so I hope that's true! We are going to have a life of sipping lemonade by our pool while our children frolic in the yard and our wait staff take care of the rest : ) More on our first year to come....

-I love my job as a preschool special education teacher in Piqua but found out that their numbers are not high enough for me to continue next year. Back to the job search. Yuck! Expect posts on the hilarious 3-5 year olds in my class as well as my progress on the job hunt.

-Beginning my Mary Kay business was one of the best decisions of my life. I am having a hard time overcoming some of the fears I have about really putting myself out there and doing big things with it. I will share some of the amazing words of wisdom I have heard, later. It's truly a wonderful opportunity and the women I am surrounded with are fabulous!

-My family is AMAZING! First of all, my parents are such a blessing! Mom has always been a great support and put up with my endless quirks. How annoying it must be to have your daughter beg you to sleep in her bunkbed with her until she falls asleep, attempting to sneak out only to be caught and followed. I think I spent the first 10 years of my life sleeping on cushions next to their bed. Dad (aka Whitey) is a great resource when life hits hard. His ability to make me laugh while laughing at himself can not be matched. He's the youngest 63 year old I know!! Beginning life with teenage siblings is a little out of the ordinary but I wouldn't have it any other way. We are best friends and I know I can call them crying, laughing, or grouching. My nieces and nephews are so much fun and I love them all for different reasons. From 13 year old Toni and our shopping trips down to 2 year old Abby with her nail polish lipstick, they each have their own personality and I will note those each someday. My inlaws are even amazing! I couldn't ask for better. I'm a lucky girl!

-Our puppy, Gibson (Gibby) was worth every rediculous cent we spent on her. She is a major source of entertainment and unconditional love. Dogs don't care how much money you have, whether you clean the floors regularly, or if you occasionally have a grouchy day. All they care about is that their food bowl is filled and your hands are ready for some nonstop ear scratching. You will definitly read plenty of stories about her antics.

-My faith is strong but is constantly in need of a pick me up. Working on that one....

-My friends are having babies!! Hurray for them and I can't wait to meet the little ones later this year! I have always had a thing for babies. Seriously, I can't get enough of them. I once asked a stranger at Bdubs that I was serving if I could hold their little fussy one. She said no. HAHAHA So awkard! It doesn't stop me from making faces at babies in church, hording babies at family get togethers, and coming up with new fun noises to get their attention.

-Our little house has been such a blessing! It's a great size for our new family. We have done so much to make it our own but we are starting to think about finding a place that will be more permanant. It's rough without a basement and a Bowflex that takes up an entire bedroom. A new home is going to take some serious moolah and will start the lovely "conversation" about where that house will be located.

-I miss my highschool girlfriends and wish they would move home! We used to have so much fun and we are all over Ohio right now. Our 5 year reunion is coming up and I can't wait!! I have a hand or two full of college friends who I hope to always stay in contact with. I can't believe the days of exams, papers, crazy roommates, parties, and dirty apartments are over!! It's crazy the things you miss!

-I'm sure there are so many more things that will pop into my head later that I will feel the need to share and you can decide whether or not you'd like to read : )